and how to do things differently

I’m my years of shooting weddings I have realized there are three main categories of couples:

Those who have everything together

2. Those who want to have everything together

3. Those who don’t care to have everything together

Myself - while planning my own wedding - I was somewhere in-between 1 and 2 which leads me to feel like I was more of a 2 - I wanted to feel like I had a clue as to what was happening but in all honesty I had very little idea of what I was doing. This was around the same time that I started to photograph weddings and let me just say hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20. There were tons of things I would have done differently but also lots of aspects that I would have kept the same. I don’t regret my wedding day, but I do wish I had this list while I was planning. So here it is: The Top 6 Wedding Mistakes that are most commonly made and how to do things differently!

Not Setting Up a Rain Day Plan
Venues can be absolutely stunning outside! But do they carry that inside? Too often couples rely on the graces of God and a happy rain dance to ward off the drops but if 2019 taught me anything it’s that Mother Nature doesn’t give a damn. I swear it rained for 90% of my weddings that year and only a handful of them had a plan for the rain. So what do you do?
Make sure you LOVE the inside of your venue. Is there a space separate from your reception/ceremony space that would be great for pictures? Is their natural light? Does the decor match your wedding vision? Do you like the indoor ceremony space if you were have to move indoors? Is the venue equip for the space to comfortably shield all of your guests from the rain? What does your venue do to the grounds to manage after the rain?
On my own wedding day it rained right as I was finishing my first look. I had my heart set on an outdoor ceremony and the timing matched up perfecting with the biggest downpour of the summer. I was beyond blessed to choose a venue that was flexible enough to allow me my cocktail to be before the ceremony - go out with a leaf blower and towels to dry the chairs - and send my ceremony off without a hitch. Was it a little backwards? 100%. But it was so much fun and my family and friends were extra vocal with cheers and claps and laughs during the ceremony which I will never forget. I didn’t plan ahead for the rain (aside from some umbrellas) but I got lucky! If I would have had to be married inside, it would have broke me. I’m a nature girl and thats what I had planned for my wedding.

Buying Your Attire Too Early
How exciting is it to get to pick out a suit or dress for the big day? It’s probably the most fun you’ll ever have while shopping. How many out there are guilty of buying the first dress you try on? This is totally a characteristic of a number 2 or 3 planner. I was so excited to be in a dress that I went all in and bought one of the first 3 I tried on. 1) Because they were having a sale and 2) because I thought I knew what I wanted. I have scrolled through hundreds of open back dresses and loved the look but as I learned after seeing my pictures - I don’t have the back for that. Thank God the front looked bomb! Another issue is buying the dress before you have a venue. Lace is beautiful. Satin is beautiful. Sheer is beautiful. Lots of dresses are beautiful - but do they match your venue? Is a Kelly Green Suit going to look amazing at an elegant venue? Is a sparkly cupcake type dress going to fit in with your rustic dreams?
Here’s what I suggest - as hard as it is for me to tell another human to wait to go shopping… wait to go shopping. After you have found and booked your venue - scroll through blogs and Instagram and whatever else you can find and see which types of dresses you think mesh the best with your venue. Have a few options when you go shopping! You might surprise yourself with what you end up loving yourself in. And Gentleman - Buy your suit. Get a custom made suite and add in some personal details. You will look and feel 1 million times better in a suit that is made just for you. And the next time you need a suit, you’ll be ready!

Skipping a Hair and Makeup Trial
Don’t. Just don’t. Yes you may have done your research and found someone you trust to beat a good face or twist hair into your wedding goals. But they are not you. I had this super trendy and beautiful style that I was hell bent on for my own hair and when my stylist excited it perfectly I realized I hated the style on me! With the trial I was able to see what I thought I wanted and then tweak it to be what actually made me feel like the most beautiful version of myself on my wedding day. Of course the rain had other plans for my hair but oh well! So what should you do?
Pretty self explanatory on this one - don’t skip the trial. If it’s a little extra, just treat yourself and then go out for a fancy dinner afterwards. I have A LOT of brides set up their trial prior to their engagement session but make sure there is time between to make adjustments incase you aren’t 100% in love with the first look that graces your face.

Faking it on the Florals
Okay - So this might just be a photographer preference, but fake florals are a no go. It is a rarity that they will passable as real flowers and I can promise you everyone that says, “Oh my gosh! I couldn’t even tell these were fake!” is lying to you. Do you have to have florals at your wedding? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Does Florals just mean flowers? NO! Will having some sort of nature integrated in your wedding level up the atmosphere instantly? Yes. This is excluding faux florals that are not trying to look passable like paper and wood.
Don’t have big beautiful blooms in your budget? Talk with your florist. See if they can sub out some options for you! Still not cutting it? Make some yourself. Head to a local flower shop and ask them their opinions. Splurge on your bouquet that will be in a lot of pictures and save on the rest. Add greenery in spot you can’t afford to add flowers. At my own wedding I was supported to find out that venue removed a row of pine trees I loved and added in a very boring patio-esq area. They offered to throw in an arbor since this change was never mentioned to me but now I had this new structure that I had to decorate because it was just a wire frame. I already skipped the florals on the tables and added in cute little potted plants because I wanted to spend my floral budget on my bouquets but had no idea how I was going to get the funds to outfit this new structure. Luckily my florist had a plan and created this beautiful lush garland filled with tons of texture at an affordable cost and I didn’t even miss the trees. Well maybe a little… but nonetheless greenery is and will always be my solution to most things. [The pictures below are from my own wedding taken by Katherine Hanegraff who’s is now with Nomadic Reverie and killing it out in LA.] Also can we just talk about how Steve doesn’t even have his jacket buttoned? What a scrub!

Getting too caught up in what you think a wedding is SUPPOSED to be.
I can’t not even begin o express the amount of empathy I have for you and dealing with the tens of thousands of opinions coming your way about your day. Your Mom will say something should be one way while your bestie tells you she did the opposite. Top blogs will tell you things you must have to impress your guests and then your guests tell you they were all things they could have done without. I wish there was a simple solution to this but there isn’t. It’s very hard to remove other people’s opinions of of your wedding day but I want to say You do you, Boo.
Make a list of your non-negotiable goals. Make another list of things you really don’t care for. And then as people tell you things - add them where you see fit. I am in no way telling you to ignore people, rather to consider what they are telling you and see how it applies to you. Some of my favorite must haves? Your dog at your wedding. Bomb ass music. A beautiful ceremony space. A venue with room to work and rooms to get ready in ahead of time. Some things that I have found to be less important? Favors, bathroom baskets, extensive family formals, and heels. Again, some of these things might be super important to you but don’t let certain things become important (or unimportant) just because someone else tells you. Don’t lose yourself in Wedding Planning!
You Don’t Hire Professionals.
Look, I get it. Professionals cost money. They are an investment. Weddings are an investment. If you’re not looking to make a huge investment - consider an elopement! If you are ready to make the investment though, make sure you’re doing it right. Don’t plan out this one day for months or years and then trust Aunt Linda’s neighbors daughter who just got a camera to capture the memories for you. Think you didn’t plan a “photo worthy” wedding? There is no such thing. Yes, we vendors love walking into beautiful locations and pristine details, but that doesn’t happen as often as it looks like it does. THAT is where the professionals come in. We take what you are willing to give us and have provided for us and turn it into something more magical for you. There is no solutions to this. There is no silver lining to hiring someone with little to no experience. This is my non-negotiable. Everyone starts somewhere - but do you want to trust that person with a day that you put so much effort and planning into? This is another list aspect - which vendors are the most important for you? Obviously I’m partial to photography!

If nothing else, I leave you with this - plan YOUR wedding. Don’t plan your Mom’s Wedding. Don’t plan that wedding you went to years ago that you loved. Plan for what makes you happy. If that is throwing a bash bigger than New Years - I’m here for it. If that is hiking up to your favorite look out - I’m here for it. If you dream wedding looks like a backyard BBQ - I’m here for it. I’m here for you. That’s the beauty in hiring vendors who have an absurd amount of passion for what we do. We are here for you. We got you!